How to Make Your Shy Cat Love You

Is your cat shy, stand-offish and generally unreliable? Do you wish you could have a loving furball like the ones you see cuddling with their owners on social media?

Your cat could be here, cuddling with you.

Well, good news – your cat can be made to love you!

I refused to believe that my shy cat was going to avoid me forever. Instead, I sought out ways to bridge the gap between us. Now, Tansy not only comes up to me for attention, she even asks to sit in my lap, something I never imagined she’d ever do!

In this post I’ll give you tips on how to strengthen the bond between you and your fearful feline. If you follow my simple guide, you can enjoy a strong, sweet relationship with your cat, just like I do.


Tansy’s Backstory


Everything I’ve learned has come from the patient tutelage of my sweet cat, Tansy. She was adopted at seven months old, the last kitten in her litter. My husband and I couldn’t fathom why she was picked last – upon first meeting, she seemed friendly, if a little shy.

My name is Tansy. Someone thought I was a scaredy-cat.

She cried all the way home. Once home, she bolted under our bed and stayed there.

Uhoh. We were worried. Was Tansy the kind of “ghost cat” that always hid and never came out?

That’s when I did a little research. Websites such as the Catsite and In a Purr-fect World (also a podcast) have great tips on how to sincerely connect with your cat.

Through trial and error and some research, I was able to help Tansy trust me and eventually grow to love me.


The top 5 tricks that made my cat love me:


1. Start with a genuine desire to get along with your feline. Sound silly? I know plenty of cat owners who have given up on their shy cats, convinced they will never change. Don’t give up!

  • Begin by visualizing what your cat-owner relationship would be like if your cat loved you a little more. Then commit to changing. Yes, you will have to put some effort into this, like any good relationship.
Your cat showing off her booty? It’s a good sign, saying she trusts you!

2. Get to know what your feline likes – and what she doesn’t. Taking time to discover the nuances of your cat is a worthwhile endeavor and is the key to creating a trusting relationship.

  • For example: Tansy hates being touched on her head. OK, no problem! Now I just avoid petting her head as much as possible.

3. Come up with a care-taking ritual your cat actually enjoys. This could be anything from brushing her coat with her favorite grooming glove, rubbing that special spot she likes, or petting her with her preferred technique.

  • Tansy gets special grooming time, where I use a brush to remove any dead under-coat fur. She goes nuts every time I pull out the brush and say “brush-brush”! I try to do this about once a week or more.
I may show you my belly sometimes. Don’t abuse the privilege.

4. Maintain reliable and daily interactions with your cat. Be consistent with your behavior towards her.

  • Don’t attack her with the vacuum because it’s funny. Don’t sik the dog on her because it’s “good exercise” when she runs to escape. Don’t even rearrange the furniture! Humans don’t like surprises; your cat detests them.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. If you’re reading this post, odds are you care about your cat. This ties in to 2 and 4 above. Your cat knows when you love her, and will reciprocate.

  • For example, when you’re going throughout your day, stop what you’re doing, go find her, and pet her. Make her feel like the princess she is! Soon you’ll notice that she starts coming to you.

6. The quickest way to a cat’s heart is through its stomach. Yes, you heard me. Keeping healthy treats on hand is a must.

Cat grass is a great and healthy treat option!

I always give Tansy treats after a scary or difficult experience, such as claw-clipping. This trick proves to your cat that even though you have to put her in some scary situations, you love her enough to give her extra food!


Your Cat Can and Will Love You


Think your cat is too shy to become your best friend? Wrong! Your cat can sense when you’re on her side. She’s just waiting for you to give her reasons to like you…and even love you.

Tansy and I hope you follow our guide and wish you the best of luck!

A fearless, loving cat!

Do you have a specific bonding ritual with your cat? If so, please share in the comment section below.

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